the new life...

lots of things I want to write about..although this shouldn’t be the time I choose to do so. anyway, inspiration always comes in forms that are unwarranted or uncalled for.. and so it is, in this case.

first, the weather report: life’s become cooler, the body enjoys it. the sleep’s deep and peaceful and drunk-like… the innards though are on Heat.. there’s torments on many fronts happening.

For starters, part 1 of life ends and part 2 begins.. in less than a month. A fortnight from now, I would’ve graduated an architect and be on my way to the Desert for the second stint at Life… quite daunting, exciting and a new prospect.. something that I look forward to, as I do with anything new.

My Father spoke to me today.. and was giving me one of his ‘philosophy’ talks.. most of what Father says makes sense. It correlates to what I believe and experience everyday. and at other levels are answers to questions that I have. But being the youth that I m (and there’s a bit of Me in it as well), I m impatient and sometimes I find his “talks” rather dragging.. but I make it a point to listen to as much of it as possible. Today, however it was short but sweet and precise. He told me, “ three words that describe life : Hardwork, Knowledge and Direction” . For “Hardwork”- he chose to give the example of bees working. He said, “80% of honey in the world is collected and processed by bees.. there wouldn’t be any honey in the world but for them.”.. for knowledge, he said, “the mind always learns, consciously and unconsciously… the search and thirst for knowledge does not fall within the framework of time and space”. I could not help but agree with that (although I m not completely assured of my agreement as far as understanding is concerned) and thirdly and lastly Direction- this one’s a tricky one and I sought to give a small extension of my own.

I do not know how many of you believe in Signs.. signs that point out many things, gives answers to otherwise very mundane and “simple” questions, gives us “Direction”… these signs exist at every corner, everywhere and more importantly inside Us… Tricky direction this is taking but let me elaborate (not too much, mind you….) firstly, these are no coincidences or things that happen “by chance”. That doesn’t go to say that there’s an inherent meaning attached to an event (s)- it is a subjective and personal experience at the end of it. Anyway, signs exist… signs give us a direction, a “calling” if you will… and I believe in them, provided I m aware of them, provided I accept them for what they are.

I have always had an inclination towards questioning some fundamentals (which I m sure many of my contemporaries have done before and many many others before me as well).. : who Am I, what am I doing here, what s My purpose, stuff like that…. trust me, not many people bother with such “queries”. They consider it an eccentric amusement and observe it as being so. That’s alright with me.. each to his own. Anyway, those who do ask such questions (or their relations) are many and fundamentally, at some level I relate to them and vice versa.

As humans, we have a responsibility: we’ve the gift of awareness; we’ve the gift of the intellect. We’ve the power to question what we feel, our emotions, our actions, our influence, etc. That’s what makes us special.. we are, in absolute terms, on the highest wrung. (“moral bystanders” would protest this point on the ground that we are worse than animals blah blah beasts, etc etc.. I mean from a theoretical or ideological point of view). We have degenerated from such noble beings ( we are truly noble- just look at our human bodies, just perfectly designed!) to creatures hunting and killing for comforts.. personal satisfaction, benefits, etc. Over the years, we have created systems within systems that has robbed us of the basic link that we share with nature. These systems have vicious traps- all aiming at enriching a materialistic life at the cost of another, be it an element of nature(environment) or a fellow human being. And we still crave to be part of this “virtual” system- our materialistic instincts still push us on. We want the latest cars, the newest brands of fashion apparels, the finest forms of entertainment (irrespective of the kind of money and energy wasted in it)..the list can go on.

Because of the way this system is growing (while degenerating), we human beings, as a race have lost the larger picture….. I m not in a very clear frame of mind to explain what this “large picture” exactly means.. let it be interpretive for now. Each one of us, being part of the larger race needs to look at the larger picture. And the root for re-beginning it is YOU (or I)… the larger picture is the Direction that we all need. Its not just an ambition to become a pilot or to win a medal… its larger than that. Its as large as the universe and bigger but it begins and ends with YOU (or I). And within this framework lies the questions that need to be asked, the introspection that needs to be mulled over, the attitude that needs to be changed- at the end of the day, whatever actions one has to go through.. the point of reference is the question, “does it tend towards the larger picture?”….

This large picture is simple..it stems from love..it stems from harmony ..it stems from acceptance and humility….all of which we are bestowed with, naturally… its all a circuit within a circuit, the Signs only point this fact out- its upto You (and I ) as to which circle we choose- the vicious or the beautiful one……

the stage..

its been a weird day..... a weird fortnight.. weird is the wrong superlative to use. It doesn't really mean anything- its meant to confuse. Its just dramatic...

the monsoon's setting in.. slowly and steadily, the oppressive moisture builds up squeezing and relentlessly discomforting the body. the mind does not feel the same but what the body experiences, so does the mind...

My last month in Manipal precedes the extremes of monsoon that this region experiences- the coastal Southern part of Karnataka is as tropical as can get with beautiful greens and palms and white sandy beaches, hot and sultry most of the year around. It is a beautiful place- and the only contrasts in season..the only contrast in Lifestyle is provided by the monsoons.

Over the years, I 've learnt something from the rains- it showers sporadically, to begin with sucking the heat from the ground, settling the dust now and then as the air becomes heavier. There appears to be a tension between elements in the surroundings- almost as if there was a sexual union about to happen... everything and everyone anticipates the water. Its more than just an element- it represents a change of season, a change in the way people move around..a change in the way the Colour of the environment gets rendered..a change in the greens, in the blues, in the sunrise and sunset and in the smells....

Everything gets renewed... everything begins afresh... its a beautiful cycle that I recognise and realise only now, when I think of it. For me, psychologically.. this change was quite important. For one... water washed off the heat...the heat within me.. it brought a soothing transition into another phase, almost another life. When the first drops of the monsoon begin its downpour, the experience is a visual stunner- its as if God took his paint brush and retouched all the colours that describe the world- nature. It is a painting to behold- the glistening drops of water softening the greens, the blues become deeper and the clouds, threaten and burst with alarming regularity...

My heart dances when I see this transition.. when Im part of it... and its beautiful.

However, this time... things have been different.... feelings have been different. There is a change. The heat was there... the pre monsoon signs have all been there but there's been other 'distractions' to contend with- profession takes a step forward in the table of priorities... so much so that an internal relation with such an intimate experience is lost in the swirls of controversies, doubts and ambition that threaten to take over...

I do not feel excited about the first rains- it rained today. I enjoyed the sounds- it reminded me of a functional bodily requirement: the air would cool down after days of insufferable oppressive heat! This is another level of change that is occuring and I realise that I have accepted it, as simply as I accepted my presence in this world, before and now. The stage has been set for change to occur and occur it shall-
the clock ticks
the body greys
the ants move
and the rains fall...

Before sunrise.... Before sunset..

I recently watched two movies that have somehow changed my life in many ways.... its made me feel.....unfeel...i don't know...

I watched "Before sunrise" without any apprehensions.. I just felt it was a good movie (having read some reviews about it...and having heard about its sequel...) and went on to watch it.... It was a magical experience. It reawakened many emotions that I thought never existed or had been forgotten...it brought out the beautiful things that need to experienced in this world...

The movie is about a man and a woman... two strangers who meet and at the end of the day, fall in love... only to separate from each other. Cinematically, its one of the cleanest, simplest and most powerful performances i've ever seen..and being a minimalist myself, this couldn't have been better- the dialogues are natural.... the flow natural...the content of conversation magical and engrossing... I thought I had found another movie to add in my pantheon..little did I know that the sequel would do something profound...

"Before Sunset" takes off from where the lovers left last... only, time has flown and changes have occured...the magic continues from where it left in its predecessor... only, this time its taken to wholly different level. Its magic that leaves you crying, smiling...hanging on to each and every word or expression that passes on between the protagonists...it makes you absorb like a sponge..its a reality show with a hidden camera..only, there's no need for it to be hidden..its a cinematic achievement other than what it did to me personally... Both the actors, Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy couldn't have done the roles if they didn't love each other really... (or if they didn't, they are truly great actors.... apparently, they remain friends until this day)....

For me... the sequel holds significance that I cannot attempt to express... its just beautiful and intimate and its a must watch for the true romantic....

I recommend these movies for a special occasion....if any with the person you love...

I was a romantic...
now
i live in a void................

juvenile artists...

this one's more of a vent of frustration (accumulated over a period of time) rather than a typical VOSSOV entry...

Basically, something Ma A told me sometime back came into picture yesterday, when i was speaking to No, and I couldn't help find a link between some related occurances that have happened in my life, especially in the last 5 years.

Specifically pertaining to my class (i m a student of architecture about to graduate in a month!!!), its been 5 long years- full of diverse experiences...romances, disappointments, irritations, anger, fun, laughter... .. however, what i shall remember in years to come wouldn't be the positive experiences as much as the negative ones that I went through. For starters, after a year or so with my class, a slow realisation dawned upon me- my class was going to be unique (that included me as well)..... an outsider, on prolonged "exposure" to our class would've used the words "diversity in diversity".. I would've like to liken it to India- the land of varied cultures and religions and languages (which my class was, to an extent analogically) but the country is often praised with terms like "unity in diversity" which is perhaps very true ideologically. Anyway, thats not what i set out to write...

My class consisted of not more than 28 individuals (at any point of time) and now numbers 26. Somhow, I never found one consistent person I could get along with, per se..... What i noticed was there was a persistent string of "arrogant individualism" that just strengthened the whole notion of diversity. A common ground was lacking, more often than not- we never could get together congenially, none of us ever felt any kind of individual responsibility towards the rest- if we did, it was soon squashed by disillusionment (which has happened more often than not during this tenure for me!! its bad!leaves a sore taste)...... and the attitudes have gotten only worse.

I try (and have tried) to be as objective as possible about this occurance and observed both my senior and junior batch, to figure out how they function. I can't say i "lived" with them...it was those small, offhand observations that pointed out to a great many things- things that were sorely missing or wanting in our pen. I agree that, in any class..over a period of time, certain looseness is bound to creep in. Groups are formed...comfort zones generated and picking/politicking become mainstay...and these I noticed among the other batches as well. However, they always got together at some point- especially if it was for a common goal...be it a project or a decision. There would be arguments, fallouts...but there was a bonding felt..at some level.
Either I was insensitive to any level of bonding that existed in my class or there just wasn't any- this pertained to us as individuals and "us" as a whole - our individual character probably was flawless (impossible..i know..i write relatively) but we just didn't tick it off as a class...
another aspect that brings me back to Ma A's words was the Chinese Horoscope... what she was speculating was that the Chinese horoscope points out traits according to the year you are born in...
Yesterday, I tried to relate this to the wonder that my class was- for starters. It also seemed to make sense that No had just attended her senior's thesis presentation - most of the seniors works were below average or just there- there was nothing special. Why im mentioning this is is because my class degraded over the last 5 years... we supposedly started out showing so much of promise- the faculty was exalted. Time showed the true colours.... reflected our collective attitude... we were lazy, we didn't care about deadlines..we never completed our work... we did not have a complete portfolio (personally, i still feel we're one of the most talented batches though). When No told me about her seniors abysmal performance (her seniors = my batch..same year), I couldn't help but draw a parallel to what Ma A had said earlier.

Did it have to do with the year?? now let me see- there is no doubt that out of 26 in the class, i think more than 50% of us have been born in the year 1984 (we're RATS in the chinese horoscope ;) )... there are some who are older than we are ...it ranges from 1982 to 85, basically.... im not sure if our horoscopes can be blamed... but i was thinking..if a survey was done all across the country specifically checking this batch (with respect to birthdates), what would the results be??

If I want to look at it objectively... I think it was a big attitude deficiency... those who worked hard got complacent when they noticed that there were others who didn't bother or give a damn..in a system where grades are based on relative performance, how does it matter whether you are truly industrious or good.. all one needs to do is wait for the rest to perform badly and thats exactly what happened- and there was always this backhand confidence- theory subjects could get your average down if you were bad in drafting and design subjects and vice-versa....if you were consistent in both, it showed you had some levels of competency.... you had a system that could be milked to give best results without much effort. We made complete use of it... and im not sure if we will pay a price..... but there were moments of laziness and fun!

I , for one began quite incompetently and rose along in seriousness and intent- so I wouldn't necessarily like to associate myself with the downward trend that is witnessed generally. One more reason why I will not remember my class down the years......
apart from this... I guess i should get serious about astrology and make predictions!!

A.E. (meaning After effect... usually somethings that related to the above entry...but in completely different light...)
-I have found some of my classmates evolving backwards...from children to lunatics as the years have taken their toll on them- sad..... Am i one of them??? umm..perhaps ....
-its fun to visualise how different will our lives be in a decade or so. I sometimes view pics of my family when they were young... you see them in youth and how determined/carefree/strong/beautiful/etc... they appear..and then, you see them now... there is more than just a physical change... and that is what makes it interesting. For eg. you see mr BiBo now and you see a buffalo... what would he be like 10 years later.... mmm..interesting..very interesting..
-this whole youth to aged thing can be slightly freaky..try this exercise out (although effects may vary..there's no guarantee): sit down and think of all the people you know... until now whom you 've seen growing up with you. Then think of any dead people (family or otherwise) or dying people..or very old people you know, a lot about... (a lot would mean a bit of their past..maybe some experiences when young..stuff like that)... try to put yourself in their timeline... you don't 've to do it intensively.. just be free about it. Then after a while, suddenly come back to yourself and think what you want to be/do.... ..
Effect: What I undergo is a very sudden shift in thought... which is almost scary...or astonishing at other times... its weird..you're here, at the moment..young and fit..thinking of all kinds of people..then you think of old people and then when you come back to thinking about you..you realise that you (or I ) are going to get old...and probably someday (or the next second) you are going to be facing death... I mean, imagine closing your eyes for the last time while knowing that you won't wake up (one might not always know... and we really don't know if "we" would know what is happening once death occurs... its not really recorded scientifically, is it!)...
i m ok with the whole concept of the cycle of births and deaths..but somehow, to think of it that suddenly, you are not going to be there... its a very interesting experience.. almost as if many years (or few) later, when the time comes..you're not the same person thinking about yourself in the past... but two different people looking at each other through a time glass..and wondering who the other one is......

I would like to look at the sky when i close my eyes for the last time..... :D

re- de generation

I m one who looks for trends..indicators, general occurances and happenings that can lead to certain events or pointers towards the future… not a soothsayer but an intuitive probe trying to create connections between things. my connections do not necessarily have any quantitative relationships, conclusive evidence or hard facts even- its as intuitive as it can get and sometimes one-dimensional as I feel it to be sometimes.

The world is undergoing changes- I feel it boiling inside, waiting to burst. I read so often about global warming, climate change and its effects. I m not getting into it any of the paraphernalia that gets associated with such phenomena- however, what does all of it point towards?? how are we human beings changing as a whole?? There are so many positive things happening and twice the negatives (I m pessimistic- im sure an optimist would write the opposite).

I recently read- China to have 30 million bachelors in a decade. At first glance, it doesn’t sound like much. What it implied (subsequently from the article) was that Chinese men would not be able to find spouses for themselves in 10 years time due to various reasons.

For starters, the problem is one of the side effects on the famously infamous “one –child” norm. Chinese (like the traditional Indian) believes that having a boy/male child is a boon as compared to a female since the boy, subsequently grows up to become a man will take of the parents, change their nappies, etc etc… hence leading to female infanticide (through illegal ultrasonic detections) and abortions. A few villages in China already face a stringent shortage of women (There are - this, incidentally is not a phenomenon that is restricted to the Asian giant alone. India faces a similar problem, albeit not to such extremities. I had also heard of villages in the country not having women for its bachelors- in fact, coming to think of it, there is even a movie that tackles this issue that my friend described to me.

So lesser the women, the more the problems… these occurrences/trends can be observed in developing economies. Interestingly, in the other side of the world, in Europe (and to an extent, North America) the demographics are as startling and contrasting as it can get. The social dynamics and setup in these continents have led to demographics that indicate a negative growth rate as far as population of the youth is concerned. i.e. Europeans refuse to have babies since the no. of marriages over the last few decades has dramatically reduced leading to an increase in higher age groups and obviously resulted in the decline of youth. Countries like Japan have 60% of their population (I think) above the age of 60. Such nations are providing incentives to their citizens to marry and reproduce. (personally, I just think there should be a partnership chalked out between the east and the west where all the unmarried youths from this side go populate the other side and help increase the number !!)

I think there’s a fine balance in this imbalance… firstly, the developing economies have a bludgeoning population growth which it is trying hard to restrain. Contrastingly, the west is experiencing the exact reverse. The same west was (and is) responsible for all the hullabaloo that goes around in the form of “global warming” while the developing nations are beginning to ring their cashiers and add to the whole glory which constitutes mankind. It looks like all these aspects (I know its very generalized) are very intricately connected and if one attempts to look at the big picture, the balance is found.

I wonder though- what really is balance?..................

P.S.

Although not directly related to the above (attempt at an) entry, I recommend that readers watch the movie “children of men”, released last year which is a very interesting concept that can well be expected in the coming decades. And once you do, try relating it to the issues I outlined……. perhaps it will make sense, perhaps it won’t….

the end...

i read so often about climate change nowadays.... global warming
and associated phenomena.
i find it interesting...
i subscribe to the doomsday theory.
not any of those mentioned by the
stupid books (let you interpret that)

the earth is heating up
ice is melting
land masses are changing
theres too much burning happening
and although heating is quite natural
its at a phenomenally and unnaturally
high rate which sees us experiencing,
every year extreme weather changes,
calamaties blah blah

the bloody US doesnt want to
sign the KYOTO protocol
apparently(facts likely to be inaccurate
but the country still run by the most autocratic
bastards ever)
if they did, they would have to spend
so much money converting their crappy technology
to something "greener" that if they chose to spend the same
amount of money on something else, they could
feed the world's poor (all of em) twice (or something like that)
and clean water sources for the whole world.
big task,big country...
the guzzlers have no shame that they are/wil be
responsible in ensuring that countries (like bangladesh)
will be in history books (and underwater)

the US contributes to 90% of greenhouse
gases that causes global warming

china builds a coal-fired power station every week.
in 2 years, they are expected to surpass the US
in terms of emissions.India,although still nowhere
as much in the picture will get there... maybe in 10 years.
india and china claim that the west is impeding their
developmental processes by asking them to
curb their emissions.
afterall, the west is responsible primarily for the
melting and all the paraphernelia

citizens of the world..
prepare for war..of a different kind..
where people will fight
not for oil..
but for drinking water
not for electricity
but for everyday food..
not for expensive watches
but for a small piece of land...

I AM...

im an angry man
i don't like my roomys.......
a palmist told me that i should control my temper since im hot tempered.
i never express my anger...but im an angry man.
my anger is an inward anger... like a cold fever... a fever that doesn't show out.
its eats within me..eats a lot...creates conflict zones.. creates hate circles..

i don't think im negative...
i've a negative engine in me
that creates spurts of anger..
some justified, some alien logic, some humane
some reflective, some plain ME

i hate selfishness...im selfish.
everyone is...
selfishness is not bad.
what is bad..and what is its opposite..
but some people are hypocritally selfish..
and that accelerates my negative engine.

i do not know how to balance.
i 've a positive engine that does it...
its naieve. but i think it needs to be.
or i would hate everyone..probably not
everyone..
but many people.

i detest people who say something
then say something else to justify
the something
then say a something more to
justify all the something they say..
its vicious..
the circle of thoughts..
shows how twisted some people
truly are.

i hate cliches..
i detest mass design without
taste..
i detest (not hate) people who do not
subscribe to tastes..
i do not prefer extremes.
but we all need extremes to
know the greys

this is no poem..
i cannot blog...

vegnonveg

i wonder often...

the whole controversy (the way i see it!) concerning eating vegetables or eating meat (animals, fish,etc)... the whole veg. vs non veg. battle that often becomes a round table debate among friends and family... perhaps friends alone! Either ways, I find myself in "no mans land" as far as making a judgement goes: which is better- eating plants or eating both plants and animals!!

I proclaim myself to be a vegetarian.. I was a vegetarian when i was born, meaning that essentially my "brahmin" upbringing didn't really encourage the practice of eating from a kitchen that cooked meat, let alone eating meat!!(technically Im a "lacto-ova vegetarian" meaning i consume both diary and egg products but NOT any meat). Today, Im a vegetarian... what i wish to emphasise is there is a difference in me being a vegetarian Today than the vegetarian that I Was. Ideologically, i m a vegetarian.. and i realised the significance of it only very recently.

As I used to be a vegetarian early on and am one now, there was a period in the middle where i tried, to an extent some of the meats that were palpable- chicken, perhaps some fish and mutton..very little quantities... curiousity more than anything else. And its probably the genes but i never found it fascinating (tasty would be a better superlative here i suppose). In class 9(i think), i decided i would give up eating any meat anywhere... (not that i was eating lot of it...but this was just to firm things up a lil' bit). And consciously, I haven't touched meat ever since..... (there was more than one occasion where chicken (precariously) creeped in into my "vegetarian" food!!!!)..

very recently, while eating "egg biriyani", i chewed on a piece of chicken (again) and although im not paranoid about doing it (ideology and lack of intention-case denied!), it did raise a few questions...thoughts.... these, more or less have been in my mind for quite sometime.. and got piqued even more when i came to know that my best friend had just turned (back) to being a vegatarian (i was very happy for him!!and yes..i belong to the "support vegetarian fraternity"!!)..

im writing the next few lines from a very neutral point of view (or an attempt to be neutral atleast)....
i doubt there is anything wrong or right in this world..so having written that, how can one judge whether eating animals is wrong (which is what most vegans say... for whatever reasons)... ? once again, i visualise cutting a vegetable and popping it into my mouth; on the other hand, cutting a chicken and popping it into the mouth...somehow, there is some level of violence that enters the picture ( i won't deny 10% of prejudice..but only 10%!!). I should think human beings, when they were evolving... had to hunt and would've had to eat meat... the way i just described above...like animals....
tearing, gashing..... when fire evolved, the whole process of cooking (by accident) began... and yes, i guess that s where the whole culture of eating chicken 65 arose...

does a vegetable feel pain when I pluck it out of the ground and cook it and eat it?? perhaps it does.looking at it literally, it should..but i choose to ignore it.
For a non-vegetarian, either he/she doesn't cook (which means the pain is not felt or is completely ignored!! afterall, who would think a fish could feel pain!!)..or "they" simply choose to ignore it..out of habit. I can almost surely point out that a non-veg cook would've squirmed (a lil' atleast!) for the first time he/she had to handle butchering a chicken (or even just observing it)....would we do that to a pet? or a human(been done!) what do these observations imply? that humans choose to ignore or become impersonal to what appears or is undear to them... perhaps it is the simple and most basic law "survival of the fittest" (i think we tend to misuse that a little excessively, steering towards our own convenience)
...nothing else matters then.

I just remembered!! I had this awesome and exhilarating dream this morning....very weird ...very very exciting!!!!

i was in some city, with someguys i think..don't really remember whom..but i was quite familiar with them..and they appeard to be helpers (or friends) of sortsand life was normal..

Once or more (you know how dreams feel so surreal..you can never say anything spot on when you remember them!)
They would take me on this human rickshaw(mode of transport pulled by a man (very rarely women too!) ) i think..or something like that..i remember it had some sort of a wind catching device on it as well (or perhaps im just imagining it!)
one day, on an outing it begins to fly!!! Its quite amazing really... you see, it slowly took off defying gravity and catches the wind. VERY VERY scary for starters ....but slowly the excitement overtook all and any other emotions taht threatened to ruin the ride!!

it (we?)flew for some distance..and i got it down somehow...it felt as if my fears (or thoughts) had manifested into controlling the craft. anyway,the best part's not over yet-

then what happens... a few days pass or something..

then i tell those two guys that we ought to try it again!!

so we do..and this time..it doesn't stop..or rather..we don't stop it..

and boy!!i m telling you!!i've never had such a ride in my whole life...and it was sooooooo real!! and awesome!!better than a roller coaster!!!

and i could see all land.... and so much of ocean..beautiful scintillating blue-green stretches with earth in irregular patches!it felt alien! we didn't fly at neither a consistent pace, route or height- we kept swirling, flying close to rooftops and taking steep climbs. It was unnerving in comparison to the short ride we had had earlier. And in addition to all these emotions I was going through, there was this constant fear that i would fall into the water or be indefinitely swept off by the strong gusts of wind that seemed to create the effects i described above!!

(all this i was experiencing it as a first person... so i never could actually see what the other two felt or how they hung on to the device that flew... i did know, however that once or twice, due to the sudden gusts of wind, they almost flew off and hung on to the craft so they wouldnt' get blown off!!)

ani

We had flown away from where we started (i shall call that home!) and had lost complete orientation as well..realising the need to get down and figure out a way to get back, the next time the device went low..i somehow managed to make a landing..and the way it landed was weird too...it was like how one lands after parachuting.. :D (i guess it was some kind of a glider or a parachute..though i never felt so!!) the place we landed was very sandy...
we had got diverted far far away. figured we had landed somewhere in north india..(or so my mind said..after listening to the name of the town (which appeared quite populated and affluent)...it wasn't a popular name, if i remember.. but i accepted it nonetheless..

As we accustomed ourselves with the surroundings and were figuring out a way to get back (which meant looking at train schedules, trying to spot our geographical location, etc etc (yes..all these thoughts were in my mind then!!) ) we got befriended (quite strangely at first) by this family (i came to know only later that they were a family...and a weird one at that..you'll see what i mean as you read!)

We did not try to attempt flying again for the fear of getting lost and making it worst for us.
scene at the house where we were staying: I hear some kind of altercation at the home of the family (our friends) (and ya..they had taken us in apparently)... and i find that the daughter of the father (also my friend now) had some power.. a special mental ability greater than the rest of them around (mind you..everyone in the family had this "special" ability) that enabled her (and the rest) to use their mental powers to do things... duel with people, move objects..I really don't know what else..

anyway, coming back to the altercation..this girl had locked herself inside a room and was throwing a tantrum with her "power" that none were able to counter or stop. I don't know what prompted me to do what I did next ..but the rest of the family just stared at me... so i closed my eyes and strained my mind (dun ask me how..i think its quite similar to what one would do while feeling constipated... except..i did this with my head... and shut my eye tight..as if i was trying to squeeze some juice out of it!!!)...and slowly, i figured i was able to counter this girl's power (what i figured was that she was using her "power" to keep the door closed.. i could somehow open it with mine!! and without much effort too!)... well, i opened the door..and she stared at me..the rest of the family didn't appear very surprised..

later, i came to know that the family had befriended me cos they had seen this "power" in me... (or something like that..which is the reference to them being "weird" incidentallY)... this was a very very strange revelation..and also explained why we flew...it was probably my subconscious that made it happen (or im not sure but it did anyways!)...I stayed in that place for a while... and tried it out a few more times. it was quite scary actually..to know you had such a power...

the landscape changed to a modern city suddenly and somehow, the whole scene and "flavour" changed to something else... which i really don't remember... it was just very weird... i heard some young people looking at me with questioning glances as if i really didn't belong there..
and then, as if to create a link (that the mind often does), i heard someone else talking about my "abilities" and that somehow puts them in awe...

hmmmm.... i dont' remember much after that.... the special parts of the dream was the "flight" and experiencing the "power"..somehow, it felt amazing (whenever i did have the guts to try) when i tried to use this power... i hadn't been aware of it before..i didnt' know it worked that way...all one had to do was close the eyes and think hard...or think...(even "hard" was not a criteria") and it would occur...
outstanding!!

closed for maintenance....

this blog shall hereby be closed down (temporarily hopefully) due to shortage of "blogging content" (or the lack of it) furthered by lack of creative writing material.

to the palmists of the world..... behold!!

significant or insignificant... the hand of a murderer or the greatest living artist?? or a hand that belongs to the everyday, run-of-the-mill man... or a crossdresser perhaps?? anyone for the taking??

i think.....

the other night, I was working..working quite hard (as architecture students are supposed to do (and most don't... (and end up burning the midnight candle (in this case, its electricity thats going waste!!!!) ) ))

sorry to interrupt the "thought".... just a mention of my "writing methods" to those who might've some trouble (if you know english, its good enough... (if you don't... its even better!!)) trying to figure out what i m writing (with all these bracketed texts, urrrrgh!!) ....
I write what i think.. i guess most people do that..i m almost scared of writing...i don't think i can write without having a parallel thought.. (or for that matter, a contradictory thought... or a tangential thought.. (add any superlative actually!) )... so..in order to remain true to the spirit of the human (spirit) mind, I strive to express whatever i think (in parallel universes et al)..and what one ends up reading (including myself) are these "bracketed-sub bracketed-sub sub bracketed" IRRITATING chain of text that probably (thats Probably with a capital P) is very irritating (and highly repetitive as you might've already observed).
Essentially, what i mean to convey is that this "style" of writing (multitaskism parallelism (don't ask me what that means!!!) ) is aimed at diversifying and conversifying the flow of thought into written matter....

Now that you've figured (for better or for worse) what i really meant by the above "mobius" lines, "let us the get the movings"...

(if you still haven't figured out, (im sure you HAVE!!!) then you'll figure out soon enough..do forgive me for going round and round (get the link ??? "MOBIUS HELLO!!") )

the other night, I was working..working quite hard (as architecture students are supposed to do (and most don't... (and end up burning the midnight candle (in this case, its electricity that goes waste!!!!and boy!!we're so energy deficient!) Architects must be banned!!! ) hail the architects!!!) architects are society's artists!!)<<-----(i dunno what that was all about ...)

alright... so i was working..and I got up (after a long stint at the job) to take a stretch and wash my face (I do not depend on narcotics... (translates to coffee and tea (for all you cafeine addicts (and coffee lovers!!) )...and suddenly... there was this flash of thought.. i guess thoughts do appear in flashes..but this was one was not a continuous thought, it just flashed and was gone in a jiffy.

Generally, the problem with such thoughts are that they make you feel like you're a goldfish (apparently..they've very very short term memories... i dunno how they found that out though!!!)... atleast they generally make me feel like one (damn those scientists!!). Anyway, this thought (or flash!!) was more a "feeling", if you get my meaning... one of those striking moments where a whole "concept of thoughts" flow in all at once (and you transform for that one second (or 3 for that matter) into a super evolved human being)..this was one such moment. So..the point is that its all quite overwhelming you know..

To add more "masala" to this "flash effect", I happened to gaze (happenstance) into the mirror at the basin and boy!! that could've been the trippiest experience ever (i think i blame the lack of sleep for all of these "ethereal" experiences!!anyway..)...

What i "felt" was, at that moment of time..I was sitting (uncomfortably) on a chair, working like a zombie just to complete something for some purpose..and suddenly the purpose, the something and everything else just didn't seem to matter. It all appeared non-existent in front of this "feeling"... it was as if the message i got was .. "hey.. all of this doesn't matter..."... all this was exhilarating for those few seconds but leads to further complications (when dealing with my brains, handle with care!!)... the question that arose was, "what then really matters?"(eventually, i went back to sleep (after the wash (note cafeine drinkers!) ))

well..the question's been there in my head for a while... and i've been subconsciously observant of people, occurances, etc around me....and it came back to me again albeit the next level of questions:
what is right or wrong?
who defines what is selfish and whats not?
Who's not, for that matter?
Are you justified in doing something if you feel passionate and conscientous about doing it?

You see..most of these questions arose with relation to architectural practices happening around the world, in our country, in the backyard..and well...at our own schools..looking beyond it transgresses into the general realm of human existence as well.

I do not know whether i 've lost faith in (hu)mankind... I do not know whether i m cynical and "old"...I have not yet passed any judgement or written anyone off... however down the situation might seem, there has always been a spark of light that ignites hope.... its always positive vs negative... (does not refer to good vs bad, right vs wrong).... I feel its up to you (or me) to figure whether you want to get back to "positive" rather than the other side (by the way, i m not sure how i would define both those opposites)....

I have thorougly enjoyed this confusing ride... so looooong then!!!

EVOluTion II

this one- i specifically call the "monkey" evo... or the "hindi movie sway sway" evo.. don't ask me for reasons though.
*#&*$(#$*#$(# Where did that odd one come from?? oooops!! i forgot... ahem ahem (to be visualised as "Clearing the throat" the way the English do)... (clears the throat)...
EVOLUTION ladies and gentlemen... Evolution....

Evolution I

a Photo series
a look at split transformation
(or evolution as i term it) whilst in front of a camera....
(also notice the interesting body language!)
disclaimer: nothing personal! ( i think this one's quite pretty ..... figure something odd if you can...
the winner gets... umm.... well...some maturity perhaps!:P )

a wonder what one can do with Mobile phones nowadays!!! (done with a Sony Ericsson by the way..pretty neat i think!!! and no, i don't own one!)


and if you wish to know more about the above aliens, DO not ask me. Danke

and... there was Light....

(what a way to begin a blog! )
The Museum of Light is incidentally a "live" project thats going to be located in Bangalore. What do you think can really happen in such a museum? display of BULBS!!! perhaps lot more..