i think.....

the other night, I was working..working quite hard (as architecture students are supposed to do (and most don't... (and end up burning the midnight candle (in this case, its electricity thats going waste!!!!) ) ))

sorry to interrupt the "thought".... just a mention of my "writing methods" to those who might've some trouble (if you know english, its good enough... (if you don't... its even better!!)) trying to figure out what i m writing (with all these bracketed texts, urrrrgh!!) ....
I write what i think.. i guess most people do that..i m almost scared of writing...i don't think i can write without having a parallel thought.. (or for that matter, a contradictory thought... or a tangential thought.. (add any superlative actually!) )... so..in order to remain true to the spirit of the human (spirit) mind, I strive to express whatever i think (in parallel universes et al)..and what one ends up reading (including myself) are these "bracketed-sub bracketed-sub sub bracketed" IRRITATING chain of text that probably (thats Probably with a capital P) is very irritating (and highly repetitive as you might've already observed).
Essentially, what i mean to convey is that this "style" of writing (multitaskism parallelism (don't ask me what that means!!!) ) is aimed at diversifying and conversifying the flow of thought into written matter....

Now that you've figured (for better or for worse) what i really meant by the above "mobius" lines, "let us the get the movings"...

(if you still haven't figured out, (im sure you HAVE!!!) then you'll figure out soon enough..do forgive me for going round and round (get the link ??? "MOBIUS HELLO!!") )

the other night, I was working..working quite hard (as architecture students are supposed to do (and most don't... (and end up burning the midnight candle (in this case, its electricity that goes waste!!!!and boy!!we're so energy deficient!) Architects must be banned!!! ) hail the architects!!!) architects are society's artists!!)<<-----(i dunno what that was all about ...)

alright... so i was working..and I got up (after a long stint at the job) to take a stretch and wash my face (I do not depend on narcotics... (translates to coffee and tea (for all you cafeine addicts (and coffee lovers!!) )...and suddenly... there was this flash of thought.. i guess thoughts do appear in flashes..but this was one was not a continuous thought, it just flashed and was gone in a jiffy.

Generally, the problem with such thoughts are that they make you feel like you're a goldfish (apparently..they've very very short term memories... i dunno how they found that out though!!!)... atleast they generally make me feel like one (damn those scientists!!). Anyway, this thought (or flash!!) was more a "feeling", if you get my meaning... one of those striking moments where a whole "concept of thoughts" flow in all at once (and you transform for that one second (or 3 for that matter) into a super evolved human being)..this was one such moment. So..the point is that its all quite overwhelming you know..

To add more "masala" to this "flash effect", I happened to gaze (happenstance) into the mirror at the basin and boy!! that could've been the trippiest experience ever (i think i blame the lack of sleep for all of these "ethereal" experiences!!anyway..)...

What i "felt" was, at that moment of time..I was sitting (uncomfortably) on a chair, working like a zombie just to complete something for some purpose..and suddenly the purpose, the something and everything else just didn't seem to matter. It all appeared non-existent in front of this "feeling"... it was as if the message i got was .. "hey.. all of this doesn't matter..."... all this was exhilarating for those few seconds but leads to further complications (when dealing with my brains, handle with care!!)... the question that arose was, "what then really matters?"(eventually, i went back to sleep (after the wash (note cafeine drinkers!) ))

well..the question's been there in my head for a while... and i've been subconsciously observant of people, occurances, etc around me....and it came back to me again albeit the next level of questions:
what is right or wrong?
who defines what is selfish and whats not?
Who's not, for that matter?
Are you justified in doing something if you feel passionate and conscientous about doing it?

You see..most of these questions arose with relation to architectural practices happening around the world, in our country, in the backyard..and well...at our own schools..looking beyond it transgresses into the general realm of human existence as well.

I do not know whether i 've lost faith in (hu)mankind... I do not know whether i m cynical and "old"...I have not yet passed any judgement or written anyone off... however down the situation might seem, there has always been a spark of light that ignites hope.... its always positive vs negative... (does not refer to good vs bad, right vs wrong).... I feel its up to you (or me) to figure whether you want to get back to "positive" rather than the other side (by the way, i m not sure how i would define both those opposites)....

I have thorougly enjoyed this confusing ride... so looooong then!!!